Friday, November 5, 2010

Anger. It's what's for breakfast today.

Last time I checked, emotions are still legal.

Two weeks after I went to the call, here I am still shaking my head.  The call was a "check the welfare" on a lady whose daughter told her school counselor her mom and dad had an argument the night before.  This immediately set off concern my head.  Concern for violating someone's civil rights.  Because, dammit, an argument is not against the law.  As far as I am concerned, these people do need the police in their business.  We are an invasive presence.  We have guns.  We have the power to take people, forcibly if necessary, from their home, and put them in a jail cell.  The police tool should be reserved for the most deserving: those who commit crimes.  You know, stuff that IS against the law.

My partner and I knocked on the door and were greeted by a well dressed woman who was speaking with a young girl.  Turns out this lady was from Child Protective Services (CPS), sent to the apartment to investigate the children's safety.  The CPS lady told me mom and son were in the bedroom.

We went into the bedroom and saw a hysterical crying young boy and a sad mother.  The boy was screaming, "Don't take us away!"  Apparently the daughter told her school counselor she saw mom and dad hit each other, which is why CPS was there.

I spoke to mom, who insisted she and her husband did not hit each other.  She didn't have any injuries.  I did not see evidence, and she was wearing a short sleeved shirt and bermuda shorts.  No telltale bruises on the arms, legs or neck.  "Are you scared of him?"  No, she said, we just argue a lot over money problems.  The apartment was clean.  Young son told me his dad gets mad when he gets injured at work.  Dad was a car mechanic and sustained a lot of work-related cuts and bruises.  Son explained that a bad work injury kept dad home from work.  By my calculations, no work for this man means he cannot provide for his family, which equals...anger.  So, maybe mom and dad need some heartfelt advice about dealing with stress, but I am not the emotion patrol and their anger level is not my business.

Rest assured, if mom was turning her head or hiding her arms to keep me from seeing a bruise, or the kids were clearly in an unkempt, abused state, I would have been documenting every little detail I could scrounge, tossing dad in jail, and whisking the kids to a safe place.  But this was just a struggling family, not deserving of my intimidating presence, and not deserving of some CPS worker threatening to take the kids.

I talked with the CPS lady who told me she KNEW (she knew!) mom and dad were hitting each other, because daughter said so; and furthermore, if mom continued to lie about it, the kids would be taken away.  I thought, okay, so, did CPS consider the daughter was lying?  I told her I could not take a crime case from a person who told me that a crime did not occur and the elements, the evidence of the alleged crime were not present.  CPS protested.  "But the father has a problem with anger!"  I wanted to scream.  Hell, I got angry.  I retained my composure and politely told CPS that based on what we saw and heard, a crime did not occur, and we would not be taking a crime case report.

What is wrong with anger?  What is wrong with yelling?  Yelling is allowed.  Anger is a normal, healthy human emotion.  People yell at each other occasionally out of frustration, sadness, anger, etc.  This is not a crime.  I am pained going to calls from second/third hand reporting parties who call the police because their neighbors are "yelling at each other."  In a perfect world we could all face adversity with the calm and centered mind of Buddha, but we are not perfect.  We are human.  We get angry, and it's not against the law.

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